[[PUBLIC]] Sporking

[carriesagun]

Don't ask me why, but I have to click links. A Green Street Hooligans crossover? Awesome! I'd love to see a GSH/Football Factory crossover! But, alas, no. I was rewarded with a Twilight/GSH fic.

 

For anyone who doesn't know, Green Street Hooligans is about a football firm, aka a gang, of London-boys who have filthy mouths and like fighting on the weekends.

 

Told from Bella Swan's perspective.

 

Onward!

 

 

I was walking down the streets of London; I had just finished my shitty office job and was now making my way home.

Then someone grabbed me from behind and pushed me towards the wall.

 

Ah, towards the wall, but not against the wall. This criminal missed that day at 'How to Sucessfully Commit Crimes' college.

 

“What the hell” I shouted I saw who was pinning me to the wall, a great big fat ugly geezer with hardly any hair and a bruised eye

 

I can just see Bella saying 'Geezer'. What would Edward make of that?

 

“Alright darlin”

“Get the fuck off me” I hissed

 

GET THE FUCK OFF ME AND GIVE ME BACK MY PUNCTUATION!

 

“Shut up” he hissed

 

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 

“What do we have ere then?” I turned to see a bloke with blue eyes light short blonde hair along with some other blokes behind him

 

This > ,,,,,, < is a comma. Please, be nice to them and give them jobs, even in the current economic distress.

 

“Fuck off Dunham, the girls with me”

 

Hark! A disembodied voice approaches!

 

“Yes I can tell by the way she’s struggling against you, so why don’t you do the smart thing and fuck off and leave her alone”

 

He's a fat ugly geezer, Pete – he's not that bright.

 

The next thing I knew the bloke was dragged away from me and beaten to a pulp by a couple of the lads.

 

What, without putting up a fight? Doesn't sound like any of the GSH characters....

 

MAYBE IT WAS EDWARD?

 

“You alight love?” The god said to me

 

Ye Gads! Bella! Your coat is alight!

 

“Yes cheers”

“Pete Dunham” he stuck his hand out

 

And waved it randomly through the air.

 

“Bella Swan”

“Nice to meet you, these are my mates Swill and Ned” the boys nodded and walked away from the unconscious man.

 

Because they'd have crawled away if he was conscious.

 

“Cheers for helping me” I replied with a smile “Look I better be going”

 

“Don’t be silly, we’ll walk you to where your going”

 

Her going what? Rate?

 

“I was just going to find somewhere I want a drink” I answered

 

Obviously Pete's godlike gorgeousness has turned her into a gibbering idiot.

 

“A pub” Pete asked,

“Of course” I replied chuckling

“Follow us then”

 

And sweet, innocent Bella could never have heard of a pub. She's big enough to have a shitty job, but not to have found a pub by herself. True fax.

 

X-Posted to badfic_quotes . Had to share it here.